A New Day

I have been loving my breakfasts. In fact, I have been looking forward to them - no matter if it is a rushed bowl of yogurt with a granola bar broken up into it - or some eggs. My friend, Lori, has moved in with us until she finishes school. With her she brought her crap and good ideas on how to eat. She makes eggs with a Bruchetta boca burger broken up into it. Well, I have to say I fought the idea at first, but now I'm loving it. It is so tasty and so low in points.

Today I had 1 egg, 2 egg whites, onions, peppers (jar sweet pepper strips), bruschetta boca burger broken up, a pinch of mozzarella cheese. I use ketchup as well. It is good and totally fills my little plate and I almost feel like it is too much to eat. It's a 3 point breakfast plate. Today I had a clementine as well.

OH - I also went to the open house at my children's school. bagels and cream cheese, donuts, cookies, brownies, cheese, crackers, cookies, etc. were around and I didn't have any! That should be worth adding a point or two to my points allowance today. I'm proud of myself for that!

Ok - off to do some homework.

Dag

Dinner:

Chicken thigh marinated in Ken's Light Italian: 4 points
1/2 c brown rice: 2 points
not even a 1/2 c corn: 0 points
salad w/light ranch dressing: 2 points

I'm not sure if I have talked at all about my addiction to sunflower seeds. Wawa sunflower seeds in particular. I like them because they taste a little more roastier and seem to have less salt. In fact, I could eat a large bag in one day without my mouth being burnt up with all the salt (a problem I had when eating a whole large bag of David's sunflower seeds). Anyway, there are two sizes of bags at Wawa - a smaller bag worth 8 points when you eat the whole thing and the large bag. This is probably the 3rd large bag I have eaten in the past 1.5 weeks. Today - I decided to actually figure out the points value (unfortunately, it was after I already at the WHOLE bag).

20 points! Yes, that's right 20 dag points! Fortunately, I didn't really have a big eating day and it put me over my daily allowance by 6 points (yes, I am shaving some and could probably add a point or two to my salad for chick peas, sunflower seeds - but I don't use a whole measure and it makes me happy and helps me enjoy the salad).

Anyway, I know I mentioned cracking my cute big'ol laptop screen. It is actually on its way back here from Malaysia (nah - Houston, TX). Anyway, I'm not sure if I mentioned that I also cracked the screen on my cute lil'laptop screen (it's old and has no button at the "." screen - so I have been using it on my kitchen counter to look up all these fab recipes I have been trying). But in the absence of my clunky new pink machine I have been using this one. Well, life was going along fine - the crack is really off to the right side and doesn't interfere much - but now I have that dag new virus that's going around. My cute lil'laptop is dying on me and my heart is broken. I keep trying to scan with ad-aware, but nothing is getting better. The virus is affecting my online capabilities - when I look something up on google, it gives me some choices but no matter what I click on it brings me to some goofy sites. Then when I try to download the "antivrus" stuff, it keeps not being able to open the page... UGH.

Anywho - I'm hoping to start some exercising this week. I'm not sure when I will get it in, but I think not only is it important for weight loss - it is important for my liver. Did I talk about my liver disease yet? Well, maybe next time I'll rant about my non-alcoholoic liver disease. It's not fun becoming a fat old lady!

Off to make cupcakes for the church social tomorrow - wish me luck on not eating anything while I'm there.
Fat chance (no pun intended!)

Hmmmm

So, I officially got weighed in yesterday - I lost 2.8lbs - still up .6 from the weight I gained between starting and restarting.... Not too shabby, especially since I haven't been following too well.

Yesterday:

Breakfast:
Banana
Fiber One Bar

Lunch:
took the kids to the zoo for lunch:
Salad
light ranch dressing
Egg

ate a bunch of baked tostito scoops - on the way home from the grocery store. I'm like Dom Delouise in Fatso when he ate the whole two bags of Chinese Food on the way home from picking it up. I love that movie. It is ashame I don't remember any lines to quote it - there must be some gems for my being fat blog).

Dinner:
Broiled Basa (with tspn olive oil drizzled on top)
Risotto & asparagus (mmm... mmmm....) don't know the point value, and don't want to figure it out. I didn't go hog wild, but I did eat more than I should have.

Today:
Breakfast:
Yogurt
Fiber One Bar
Banana

Lunch:
Salad
Egg
FF ranch 1tbspn/ 1tbspn of light balsamic vinagrette

a bag of sunflower seeds

2 1 point WW lemon cakes (these are really good - but SO small)

My new, new resolution is to start writing everything down again.

Taste Deprivation

The weekend threw me for a loop - I pretty much kept track of what I ate in my head...

Sunday night - during the Eagles game I had 2 pieces of pizza and a few (probably 5 wings (no more than that). The pizza and the wings weren't really that good - so I was left in a state of taste deprivation. Taste deprivation is disastrous to my diets. Seriously. I have come to know that I am an emotional eater. I eat happy, bored, sad, mad - you name an emotion and I can eat by it. I am serious about my food - I like to eat stuff that I feel tastes good - it is important to me. Therefore, when I commit to a food, if it turns out to be YUCKY/or not satisfying in taste it sort of leaves a hole in my heart. Well, I scrimped all day on Sunday because I knew that I wanted wings from this particular place that evening (very good dieting, right? sacrifice now to enjoy later....) My husband, sister and friend got hoagies from my FAVORITE hoagie place - not me..."no thanks" I said when they were going, "no thanks" I said when they offered me half of theirs when they were finished - NOT an easy thing for me to do. But, I had it all planned out. My mouth watered all day.

Well, food finally shows up. I have to set the table, plate the kids' food, act polite and put out plates for the big people... then I sit down with my mushroom and onion pizza and wings. UGH. UGH I say. The wings were slimy (I like them a little crispy - and typically the way they come from this place) and the pizza didn't really taste like anything (I need to add here that I ordered this pizza from this place because I like their wings better than I like the wings from my FAVORITE pizza place). Going in to this I knew the pizza wouldn't be great, but I was willing to forego it in place of the delicious wings. Are you feeling my angst? Am I portraying in words the heart break that consumed me and ruined my evening? Then the Eagles lost (but that is besides the point - because I really couldn't care less anyway, but going to the super bowl would have meant another good excuse to try another round of wings...)

Anyway, so that's what I ate in my attempt to nourish myself and enjoy some "game" food. Which really wasn't that bad. So, the games are over, the kids are asleep - it is about 10:30p and me and my husband make our routine stop in the kitchen to stare in the fridge. There they are - 2 leftover hoagie halves (did I mention my absolute LOVE for leftover hoagies - I may just enjoy a half-day or day-old hoagie in the fridge better than right from the store). Well, here they are. So, feeling so sorry for myself I pull out the half Italian hoagie and ask my hubby to split - he says no of course, trying to be all self-righteous about not eating "bad" food. I cut a piece of the half (less than half of the half), he has a hunk and my sister has a hunk. Whatever!

So there.

Damn Eagles

You know - how's a woman supposed to eat right when all this stuff keeps going on? I mean, for real. My plan was to be sooo good today, since I blew it at the game last night. This morning I got up, made the kids banana pancakes and made myself:

1 egg/2 egg whites: 2 points
Boca Bruscetta Burger: 1 point
peppers/onions: 0 points
1/2 4" grapefruit: 1 point

Well, the Eagles made it to the NFC Championship game and now it's all about "what we will be eating during the game?" While I was out shopping, my sister, husband, and friend got hoagies for lunch - when I got home ravenous, I made myself:

Lean Cuisine Santa Fe Style Rice & Beans: 5 points
Salad - 1tbspn ff ranch: 0 points

certainly not as good an Italian Hoagie from Farm Fresh Produce, but it worked. I've been trying to eat salads with my meals, but I am really sick of making them. Is this what skinny people do? Wash lettuce? Remember, I mentioned the chick splitting the hoagie at the Kixx game? Well, she was thin. Oh - I don't know.

Tomorrow, Discovery Health is coming tomorrow to tape again. They are coming with me and Robby to his therapist appointment and then following Kurt and I to a marriagey-type counselor. I'm not really looking forward to spilling all the dirt on national TV, but I keep trying to remind myself that it will help people. Not that people will look at us and say "they are worse off than us" - but they will see that everyone is having a hard time at life and feel a little hopeful that everything is ok.

Probably not though - they will probably look at us and say "thank God I'm not them!"

I've been busy AND exhausted

Fri (lunch):
4 oz Tilapia, cous cous, on salad w/ff ranch: 6 points

Dinner:
Chinese. Well, I'm not really sure how to score this, but here goes my rationalization....
I had 22 points left for the day before dinner. I had:
about 6 fried noodles with duck sauce
2 steamed dumplings
about a cup of rice
at least a cup of chicken and brocccoli

I figure I didn't eat 22 points worth at the chinese restaurant - so I'm good.

Today (on the other hand...):
Breakfast:
1 cup Dannon Light & Fit, 1 fiber one: 4 points

Party
chicken marsala, eggplant rolatini, stuffed flounder, small salad, small coors light bottle, no dessert. All were buffet portions (so, like this small piece of flounder wrapped around a little ball of crabmeat sort of thing).

Philadelphia Kixx Soccer Game:
2 (count 'em 2) hot dogs
1/2 turkey and cheese hoagie

28 points left for the day - hopefully that and some of my weekly points allowance will cover my ass for the day.

I don't know what it was - at the game I just had to eat. Well, I was hungry and it was dinnertime so I was ok with the two hot dogs. Then, the folks in front of me split a turkey hoagie. I'm not sure if the hoagie looked good or the cute couple splitting the hoagie made it look good, but suddenly I was jealous and needed to have the hoagie. So... off I go and buy my $8.25 stupid hoagie and ate half (only half - but still).

yummmmmy!

Breakfast:
1 egg/2 egg whites: 2 points
Cento sweet pepper strips/onions: 0 points
Boca cheeseburger crumbled: 1 point
1/2 4" grapefruit: 1 point

At first after I poured the egg into the pepper/onion/Boca burger I thought - this is going to be way to much food. Well, there is really never enough for me so I ate it all, but it filled up the whole heart-shaped princess plate I was using. I put ketchup on it and it was good. I was hoping the Boca cheeseburger would make it seem cheesy - like a Western Omelet - it didn't.... there's really no hiding that it is a light meal, but it was decent (I would make again).

So, I'm packing up my cute pink laptop today and handing it off to FedEx. I have mixed emotions about it all, but I figure - I'm a stay-at-home mom, what is so important on that computer that I can't get again. Really. Not that my job isn't 100x harder than going off to work, but it IS all about the kids. Other than the cub scout January meeting plans that I finagled onto my jump drive, I'm not caring too much about the rest.

Ok - must shower today or the mothers in the pick-up line will start talking about me!

2 year old chicken

Lunch:
Boston Market 5oz Turkey, steamed veggies, green beans: 3
some french fries (kids got mickey d's - I couldn't resist: 3
12 Mentos fruity things: 1

Dinner:
2oz chicken (prepared in marinara sauce with sprinkles of mozz. cheese): 3
Barilla Pasta Plus Whole Wheat spaghetti: 3
Salad (w/ff Ranch, onions, beats, chick peas, sunflower seeds, tomato): 2

snackS:
1 small bag sunflower seeds: 8 points (did I mention my addition)
skinny cow ice cream sandwich: 2 points
Boca Burger, broccoli concoction: 2

I tracked 24 points out of 31 - I probaby didn't eat 7 extra points worth of stuff I didn't write down, but maybe a point or two. (I hope I added correctly - seems like I have a lot of stuff written and not a lot of points totalled)

I pulled chicken out of the freezer last night (good, right... planning ahead). This afternoon, at about 4p, I pulled it out of the fridge to start dinner. Hmmm... looked a little funny, but nothing alarming - could be a little freezer burn. Finally, I dig in the trash to look for the "use by" date on the label and it says 10/13/07. Hmmm... it smells good, looks good - must be ok. I continue to clean and trim and worry. I even stopped to check google for some guidance - "should be ok, trim the freezer burnt pieces because they will be dry." That's what I did. The verdict: Yea - don't cook the two-year old chicken.

Starting over with my old Dell Laptop with a missing "." key

Quick post before my children kill each other...

Breakfast
Scrambled eggs: 1 egg/1egg white, peppers, sprinkling of mozzarella cheese: 2 points
1/2 4" diameter grapefruit: 1 point

I used those peppers in the jar (sweet peppers). It was tasty enough. I don't mind using fresh peppers, but I like them to be softer when I'm eating them. Typically, I burn them before they get soft.

I'm going to try NOT to weigh myself everyday, but I succumbed to the pressure this morning on my stupid scale with 3 year old batteries (it can't possibly be accurate). Anyway, 239.2 today. Which is good because 2 days ago it read 242. Since I have Fast Pass with WW, can I go to meetings everyday? You know like AA and do the protestant church basement loop every night.

Ok - off with the kids to do birthday present shopping for my friends son. (with all the kids!)

Bad, Bad Day

Last night's dinner:
4oz broiled tilapia (olive oil (1tsp-drizzled on top), salt, pepper, basil, garlic powder): 4 points
Asparagus: (drizzled with olive oil and salt - baked for 12 minutes) 0 points
1/2 cup whole wheat cous cous: (made with olive oil, chicken broth) 4 points
Salad with FF Ranch: 1 point
1 FF jello pudding/ff whipped cream: 1
American Idol watching snack:
Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich: 2

Dinner was delicious - I didn't eat much asparagus, so I'm not counting. I like my asparagus a little more cooked, but my husband and friend LOVED it. It was a satisfying meal - BUT what I really needed was some comfort food....

See - at about 4pm yesterday my foot caught the cord of my laptop and it went slamming onto the floor. My screen is cracked! I am heart broken. Not because I LOVED my laptop, because really I hated it. Dell XPS 1530 with Windows Vista - HATED IT. It was big and bulky and Vista suuuuucks. It was pink - :-) and it has all my stuff in it. I'm going to be without it for 10-14 days. for $550 dollars, they will send me a box with prepaid shipping, received my damaged laptop and "rebuild" it like new. HMPHRF... I will send my laptop off into the abyss. Pray with me now.... please computer fix-it guys in India... take good care of my laptop - please put another pink top on and don't charge me extra....

Oh - did I mention that if I wanted to speak to a customer service team in "North America" I could upgrade my service plan (pay extra). Funny. I opted against it because my head was going to explode at the moment and I couldn't think straight. I will from now on pay the extra fee and give props to the North American geeks!

Breakfast:
3/4cup Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt Vanilla: 2pts
Fiber One Granola bar: 2pts

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine Pot stickers: 5pts
carrots and celery sticks w/ff ranch: 0pts
(I am getting a little tired of making salads so I opted for some carrots/celery sticks - not enjoyable)

So - I officially weighed in at WW today - 240.6lbs. hrmphf.

Will chat more tonight after dinner - I'm a little distracted with the kitchen at the moment.

What I Learned in School Tonight

Dinner:
1 cup Homemade marinara sauce (oh my God - it was so good: 6 points
Barilla Pasta Plus - thin spaghetti - 4 points per cup, but I had two bowls: 8 points
2 Mama Mia Meatballs: 2 points
Some sweet potatoes: 2 points

31 points for the day.... ugh (that's my limit so I shouldn't be eating these pretzels)

"Avoid identifying disability within the student -- instead identify the deficiency in the student's environment"

Hmmm.... I have been having difficulty (to say the least) with my boys (4 year olds) - one especially. I actually have been taking him to see a therapist. Pretty much she says he is seeking attention. Yea, yea. My other son - doesn't seem to apply himself. When I'm working with him he won't focus on our activities, he doesn't hold his pen correctly, etc. I took him to be evaluated by the school district (I thought he may have some kind of developmental delay...) - they said it's behavioral.... a.k.a: he needs more structure and attention. A.K.A... mom is not paying enough attention. You know - it's just like losing weight -- there is no easy answer -- I know what is deficient... me...

I'm always busy -- distracted. Just like losing weight, I know what I have to do, but I don't do it. Today, instead of playing with the kids I made roasted sweet potatoes. At one point while I was peeling I thought to myself "why am I making these right now...?"

I have lots of things to figure out. Why do I over eat? It can't be as simple as it's what I know. Boredom. Stress. Depression. I know right now I'm mad at my husband - he's inattentive to what needs to get done around here - not bathtime and bedtime, but bills, the car he just cracked up, etc. So, all I want to do right now is EAT.

About my kids - tomorrow I will make a conscious effort to purposefully play with them. Not mom directed - let's play this or make that... but sit in there and forget everything going on in our house - dinner, laundry, cleaning, etc. and just be in the playroom with them. My son's therapist wants me to spend 15 minutes a day playing with him - not so much playing as sitting there with him on the floor watching him play and commenting on his activities -- ask no questions, give no help or directions --- just be there and let him know it. I have been struggling with getting him alone. It's not just 15 minutes with him - the other kids see me paying attention to him and they want to join in OR want me to play with them. Which is fine...but instead of paying attention to the one, I'm yelling at the others to BACK OFF, WAIT YOUR TURN - I'm sure that's not what our "special play time with mom" is supposed to be.

I make no excuses - I'm a failure at the being a good mom thing. Yea - they are fed, happy, behave in Church, but their mother is absent and inattentive. So - I will try to work on that. But with four four-year olds and a six-year old it's hard.

So, I broke down and weighed myself this afternoon -- 242.2lbs. Yup - that's what I said. 2.2lbs more than I was yesterday. Maybe I need to poop!

Ham Whores

Lean Cuisine Margarita Pizza (my fav): 7 points
Salad:
2tblspn Kens Light Balsamic Vinagrette: 1 point
Romaine
Onions
Tomato
sprinkle parm cheese

So, I joined WW in November some time - I signed up for their Fast Pass: get billed once a month $49.50, which is less than paying every week. Anyway, when I registered, I didn't have a sink (we just moved home after 3 months of fire renovation and our kitchen counters weren't in yet). I didn't really believe I was going to follow the program because it was just too hard: 5 kids, no sink - couldn't cook or wash dishes, etc. It really didn't upset me that I kept paying without going - I NEEDED TO GET THERE or it would never happen. I successfully made it to 3 meetings and then ALL of my children got rotavirus and hell broke loose two weeks before Christmas and I just about lost my mind (don't forget - in the middle of hell breaking loose is taping for Discovery Health). Anyway, lo and behold I pretty much wasted about $75 worth of Weight Watchers fee.

What kills me is that when I joined in November I weighed 236lbs and today I weigh 240.
4 POUNDS! 4 pounds in about a month and a half!? If I keep going at that rate, by 2010 I will be around 275lbs! But this eating good is hard - hard. There's always bariatric surgery, but how depressed will I be in 3 years when I gain all the weight back because I STILL THINK IT'S HARD TO EAT RIGHT! I need to work this out for myself, my children.... it's a daunting task. I almost wish I was addicted to Cocaine - if that were the case I could go away to some drug rehab and try to get clean (and health insurance would pay for it). Instead I have a problem with food (which I need in order to survive) - and they just keep the stores stocked with fattening (delicious) foods readily available. Where's the police? Where's the DEA (or FDA)? Who helps us fatties who can't help ourselves. Because it is food it is a lesser problem than Coccaine. We ARE killing ourselves, we ARE killing our children - AND with today's economy people are going to be giving blow jobs behind ACME to score some produce. They will call us Ham Whores! (you know, instead of Crack whores).

It is up to me to have the motivation and werewithal to get clean from saturated fats. I mean for goodness sake - OPRAH can't even do it and she has people cooking for her. It's daunting. Ok - let's get out of this mode or I will get defeated before I even start.

Breakfast:
1C Dannon Light&Fit Vanilla Yogurt: 2 points
1 Fiber One Granola Bar: 2 points
Clementine: 1 point

Did I mention that I have quads and that we have a show on Discovery Health called Double Identical Twins? Well, I do. Actually, they are following us again for a 3rd show to update on how my 4 year-old quads are doing. It's been a challenge - it definitely is easier to film, etc. when the babies were still confined to my womb. But, my kids are really cute and I can't wait to see them again on TV. I guess I could get more into them later.... But for today I want to talk about us getting our basement finished for the show. Did I mention that we had a fire in our house last August, August 1. Actually, it was the same day my oldest son had a craniotomy to relieve his epidural hematoma... more on all of that craziness later.

So, the contractors who rebuilt our basement and first floor after the fire, have agreed to do our basement during the show in exchange for advertising their business. Ikea has agreed to chip in some furniture for the big reveal as well. Anyway, the problem is that now I don't think it is going to happen because our township's requirement that if you finish a basement you must have a seperate exit/entrance from the basement. Apparently, it will be super expensive to put in an exit and I'm not sure the contractor will be willing to "throw" that in as well. AND since our fire started in the basement and my plan is to have the kids' playroom in the basement, I guess an exit is a good idea.

Well, four of my five children are up and looking for some attention, so I must go before they destroy my house worse than a fire could ever do!

Long day...

Dinner:
1 Grilled chicken breast (was starving and forgot to weigh): 7 points
1/2 cup of brocolli rabe: I'm going to give 1 point just for good measure
some green beans: " "
Sugar-free/fat-free jello: 0 points
2 tablespoons fat-free whipped cream: o points

Wow 17 points for the day - I have some major eating to do before I go to bed! Hmmmm - what could I have that would be good..... or should I just go to bed and forget it since I ate a TON of shrimp dip last night watching the Steelers game (BTW - I am not a Steelers fan. My husband is from Pittsburgh and therefore my children must wear Steeler jerseys on Sundays). AND the shrimp dip was made with fat free sour cream and reduced fat cream cheese... so....

Well, I decided not to go to bed and munch on some sunflower seeds. Not what I call comfort food, but it works for something to pick on while I am sitting here (not doing my homework). Have I mentioned being addicted to Facebook? Yea - the main reason I'm getting no homework done.

Anyway, I had a good eating day; a crazy kids day - the boys were nuts and I took it out on the girls.... I got through some math stuff that I thought I wouldn't remember how to do (wait - I didn't remember how to do it, the internet helped - thanx all you smartie peeps who like to put everything online!)

Until tomorrow.... Hope to see less of me!

Lunch

1 cup vegetarian chili: 3 points
Salad:
Romaine 0 points
Onions 0 points
Sunflower seeds (pinch) not counting
FF Ranch 1 point

I put the chili in my salad and threw in a couple pretzel sticks (because I couldn't find my baked tortillas). Mmmm Mmmmm - it was pretty good.

Busy, busy!

Math - huh?

Breakfast:
1c Dannon Light&Fit Vanilla Yogurt: 2 points
1 Fiber One granola bar (yummy): 2 points

Not to shabby of a breakfast - and it actually tastes good.

I am currently 3/4 of the way finished my Master's in Education. When I grow up, I would like to be a middle-school teacher, preferably in a Catholic school. I am not super-religious, but I do believe in giving kids a foundation of faith - whatever your faith is, I believe that we need to help our children believe in something. I pick Catholicism - whether because it was chosen for me or not, I like the idea of a Catholic education. (so there, that's my defense of wanting to teach in a Catholic school - sort of).

Anyway, I need to sit for my Praxis test, which includes Reading, Writing, and Math. I don't know about you, but I am having panic attacks (not literally) over the Math portion. I have been searching for some sort of Prep course, no luck, and complaining about it for months. While all of this has been going on, I purchased a study guide at Borders and it has collected dust for the last 3 months. Well, finally I am attempting some Math - particularly FRACTIONS. I totally must have missed school every year when we were doing fractions, because I have NO idea (literally). I mean, what the heck... I was chugging a long fine adding and subtracting fractions today, got a little nervous when they through in some mixed numbers, but I was doing it. WOW. All of the sudden I had to subtract a negative number. Needless to say, I started flipping pages in my study guide (no sample of this type of problem was discussed, as usual with Math texts they throw is samples with no EXAMPLE in the section), clicking away online looking for help... about 45 minutes later I find this awesome page and I got it.

My point is, why can't they make it easier? I don't mean the math, I mean the explaining. Have I added that i only have 2 hours to study before 4 of my 5 children get out of school. Have I added that I still need to clean up after breakfast, and do the rest of my homework? I know I didn't add take a shower - because there is absolutely no time for that. Gym, schym - I foresee no gym time today. "Oh math wizards of the universe, please, in the future, figure out a way to help us figure out how to do this math stuff - please stop taking pleasure in the insane mumblings of the mass population as we struggle to find our way through our texts - please have mercy on us all!"

Have a great day - stay warm!

UGH - 240

What the heck is going on here!? How did I become 240lbs of fun?

Well, I could blame it on my five children, but really - this ass was pretty much my ass before I started having kids. Who to blame:

1. My father - for always making us eat everything on our plate
2. My father - for always making snakes before we went to bed
3. the 80's - for not figuring out that exercise and whole foods were important
4. the food processing companies - for making it so easy for my single father to cook every night
5. McDonalds - can't even blame them - we couldn't afford mickey d's
6. My mother - when I look in the mirror, I have the SAME EXACT body. UGH

I guess, I could come up with a long list of what went wrong in my life that brought me to this point. Fat, tired, bored, depressed, and whatever else goes along with having five children under the age of 6, grad-school, etc.

Oh, did I mention my liver disease. Yes, liver disease! All brought on by eating the wrong stuff and not exercising (which, by the way, is the exact opposite of the cure for liver inflammation - that could eventually lead to non-alcoholic cirrhosis). So, no happy pill cure-all for me... just eating less fat and exercising. UGH!

So, here is my plan: I joined weight watchers (again - 4 times a charm). I belong to the YMCA (hope to actually use the facilities in 2009). Make better food choices for myself, so that eventually I can make better food choices for my family. I really don't want them to carry on the rip the box top off the Hamburger Helper cooking that I grew up with (no, Dad, I'm not really complaining - I do appreciate that we had dinner every night as a family sitting at the dinner table).

I, however, have never been able to stick to anything. I am hoping to follow my progress with this blog so that I will have a record (or support) for where I'm going and how I'm getting there. My goal is not to be a size 2, but to be healthy and actually fit into my winter coat (yes, at this point, I can't zipper my winter coat).

Wish me luck!