This Time It WILL Be Different... I swear!

244.5 (it's been 1 year and 10 months since my last WW meeting)

31 points

It was like going home... walking in to a WW meeting for the first time for the 7th time. This time, though, I brought back-up - my diabetic, gadget-loving, delicious popcorn making husband. I figured he would benefit from some good ol'WW to help keep track of his sugar levels (something he hasn't gotten a handle on since being Dx'd with Type I diabetes 8 years ago).

He was not really happy about joining WW. He thought he would be the only male at the meeting. He's picturing a bunch of 40+ fat women sitting around confessing all their eating indiscretions. I kept trying to convince him (and myself) that there are always men at the meetings. Much to my surprise not only were there 2 other men at the meeting, the LEADER was male. Phew! I made it past our first obstacle. He's excited about joining WW online and getting the iPad app.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), he has had a lifetime of experience with WW: his mother pretty much follows the ideals and has been his whole life and since we've been together I think I have joined, quit, and thrown out all the materials 4 times. This time, though, it will be different!!

A New Day

I have been loving my breakfasts. In fact, I have been looking forward to them - no matter if it is a rushed bowl of yogurt with a granola bar broken up into it - or some eggs. My friend, Lori, has moved in with us until she finishes school. With her she brought her crap and good ideas on how to eat. She makes eggs with a Bruchetta boca burger broken up into it. Well, I have to say I fought the idea at first, but now I'm loving it. It is so tasty and so low in points.

Today I had 1 egg, 2 egg whites, onions, peppers (jar sweet pepper strips), bruschetta boca burger broken up, a pinch of mozzarella cheese. I use ketchup as well. It is good and totally fills my little plate and I almost feel like it is too much to eat. It's a 3 point breakfast plate. Today I had a clementine as well.

OH - I also went to the open house at my children's school. bagels and cream cheese, donuts, cookies, brownies, cheese, crackers, cookies, etc. were around and I didn't have any! That should be worth adding a point or two to my points allowance today. I'm proud of myself for that!

Ok - off to do some homework.

Dag

Dinner:

Chicken thigh marinated in Ken's Light Italian: 4 points
1/2 c brown rice: 2 points
not even a 1/2 c corn: 0 points
salad w/light ranch dressing: 2 points

I'm not sure if I have talked at all about my addiction to sunflower seeds. Wawa sunflower seeds in particular. I like them because they taste a little more roastier and seem to have less salt. In fact, I could eat a large bag in one day without my mouth being burnt up with all the salt (a problem I had when eating a whole large bag of David's sunflower seeds). Anyway, there are two sizes of bags at Wawa - a smaller bag worth 8 points when you eat the whole thing and the large bag. This is probably the 3rd large bag I have eaten in the past 1.5 weeks. Today - I decided to actually figure out the points value (unfortunately, it was after I already at the WHOLE bag).

20 points! Yes, that's right 20 dag points! Fortunately, I didn't really have a big eating day and it put me over my daily allowance by 6 points (yes, I am shaving some and could probably add a point or two to my salad for chick peas, sunflower seeds - but I don't use a whole measure and it makes me happy and helps me enjoy the salad).

Anyway, I know I mentioned cracking my cute big'ol laptop screen. It is actually on its way back here from Malaysia (nah - Houston, TX). Anyway, I'm not sure if I mentioned that I also cracked the screen on my cute lil'laptop screen (it's old and has no button at the "." screen - so I have been using it on my kitchen counter to look up all these fab recipes I have been trying). But in the absence of my clunky new pink machine I have been using this one. Well, life was going along fine - the crack is really off to the right side and doesn't interfere much - but now I have that dag new virus that's going around. My cute lil'laptop is dying on me and my heart is broken. I keep trying to scan with ad-aware, but nothing is getting better. The virus is affecting my online capabilities - when I look something up on google, it gives me some choices but no matter what I click on it brings me to some goofy sites. Then when I try to download the "antivrus" stuff, it keeps not being able to open the page... UGH.

Anywho - I'm hoping to start some exercising this week. I'm not sure when I will get it in, but I think not only is it important for weight loss - it is important for my liver. Did I talk about my liver disease yet? Well, maybe next time I'll rant about my non-alcoholoic liver disease. It's not fun becoming a fat old lady!

Off to make cupcakes for the church social tomorrow - wish me luck on not eating anything while I'm there.
Fat chance (no pun intended!)

Hmmmm

So, I officially got weighed in yesterday - I lost 2.8lbs - still up .6 from the weight I gained between starting and restarting.... Not too shabby, especially since I haven't been following too well.

Yesterday:

Breakfast:
Banana
Fiber One Bar

Lunch:
took the kids to the zoo for lunch:
Salad
light ranch dressing
Egg

ate a bunch of baked tostito scoops - on the way home from the grocery store. I'm like Dom Delouise in Fatso when he ate the whole two bags of Chinese Food on the way home from picking it up. I love that movie. It is ashame I don't remember any lines to quote it - there must be some gems for my being fat blog).

Dinner:
Broiled Basa (with tspn olive oil drizzled on top)
Risotto & asparagus (mmm... mmmm....) don't know the point value, and don't want to figure it out. I didn't go hog wild, but I did eat more than I should have.

Today:
Breakfast:
Yogurt
Fiber One Bar
Banana

Lunch:
Salad
Egg
FF ranch 1tbspn/ 1tbspn of light balsamic vinagrette

a bag of sunflower seeds

2 1 point WW lemon cakes (these are really good - but SO small)

My new, new resolution is to start writing everything down again.

Taste Deprivation

The weekend threw me for a loop - I pretty much kept track of what I ate in my head...

Sunday night - during the Eagles game I had 2 pieces of pizza and a few (probably 5 wings (no more than that). The pizza and the wings weren't really that good - so I was left in a state of taste deprivation. Taste deprivation is disastrous to my diets. Seriously. I have come to know that I am an emotional eater. I eat happy, bored, sad, mad - you name an emotion and I can eat by it. I am serious about my food - I like to eat stuff that I feel tastes good - it is important to me. Therefore, when I commit to a food, if it turns out to be YUCKY/or not satisfying in taste it sort of leaves a hole in my heart. Well, I scrimped all day on Sunday because I knew that I wanted wings from this particular place that evening (very good dieting, right? sacrifice now to enjoy later....) My husband, sister and friend got hoagies from my FAVORITE hoagie place - not me..."no thanks" I said when they were going, "no thanks" I said when they offered me half of theirs when they were finished - NOT an easy thing for me to do. But, I had it all planned out. My mouth watered all day.

Well, food finally shows up. I have to set the table, plate the kids' food, act polite and put out plates for the big people... then I sit down with my mushroom and onion pizza and wings. UGH. UGH I say. The wings were slimy (I like them a little crispy - and typically the way they come from this place) and the pizza didn't really taste like anything (I need to add here that I ordered this pizza from this place because I like their wings better than I like the wings from my FAVORITE pizza place). Going in to this I knew the pizza wouldn't be great, but I was willing to forego it in place of the delicious wings. Are you feeling my angst? Am I portraying in words the heart break that consumed me and ruined my evening? Then the Eagles lost (but that is besides the point - because I really couldn't care less anyway, but going to the super bowl would have meant another good excuse to try another round of wings...)

Anyway, so that's what I ate in my attempt to nourish myself and enjoy some "game" food. Which really wasn't that bad. So, the games are over, the kids are asleep - it is about 10:30p and me and my husband make our routine stop in the kitchen to stare in the fridge. There they are - 2 leftover hoagie halves (did I mention my absolute LOVE for leftover hoagies - I may just enjoy a half-day or day-old hoagie in the fridge better than right from the store). Well, here they are. So, feeling so sorry for myself I pull out the half Italian hoagie and ask my hubby to split - he says no of course, trying to be all self-righteous about not eating "bad" food. I cut a piece of the half (less than half of the half), he has a hunk and my sister has a hunk. Whatever!

So there.

Damn Eagles

You know - how's a woman supposed to eat right when all this stuff keeps going on? I mean, for real. My plan was to be sooo good today, since I blew it at the game last night. This morning I got up, made the kids banana pancakes and made myself:

1 egg/2 egg whites: 2 points
Boca Bruscetta Burger: 1 point
peppers/onions: 0 points
1/2 4" grapefruit: 1 point

Well, the Eagles made it to the NFC Championship game and now it's all about "what we will be eating during the game?" While I was out shopping, my sister, husband, and friend got hoagies for lunch - when I got home ravenous, I made myself:

Lean Cuisine Santa Fe Style Rice & Beans: 5 points
Salad - 1tbspn ff ranch: 0 points

certainly not as good an Italian Hoagie from Farm Fresh Produce, but it worked. I've been trying to eat salads with my meals, but I am really sick of making them. Is this what skinny people do? Wash lettuce? Remember, I mentioned the chick splitting the hoagie at the Kixx game? Well, she was thin. Oh - I don't know.

Tomorrow, Discovery Health is coming tomorrow to tape again. They are coming with me and Robby to his therapist appointment and then following Kurt and I to a marriagey-type counselor. I'm not really looking forward to spilling all the dirt on national TV, but I keep trying to remind myself that it will help people. Not that people will look at us and say "they are worse off than us" - but they will see that everyone is having a hard time at life and feel a little hopeful that everything is ok.

Probably not though - they will probably look at us and say "thank God I'm not them!"

I've been busy AND exhausted

Fri (lunch):
4 oz Tilapia, cous cous, on salad w/ff ranch: 6 points

Dinner:
Chinese. Well, I'm not really sure how to score this, but here goes my rationalization....
I had 22 points left for the day before dinner. I had:
about 6 fried noodles with duck sauce
2 steamed dumplings
about a cup of rice
at least a cup of chicken and brocccoli

I figure I didn't eat 22 points worth at the chinese restaurant - so I'm good.

Today (on the other hand...):
Breakfast:
1 cup Dannon Light & Fit, 1 fiber one: 4 points

Party
chicken marsala, eggplant rolatini, stuffed flounder, small salad, small coors light bottle, no dessert. All were buffet portions (so, like this small piece of flounder wrapped around a little ball of crabmeat sort of thing).

Philadelphia Kixx Soccer Game:
2 (count 'em 2) hot dogs
1/2 turkey and cheese hoagie

28 points left for the day - hopefully that and some of my weekly points allowance will cover my ass for the day.

I don't know what it was - at the game I just had to eat. Well, I was hungry and it was dinnertime so I was ok with the two hot dogs. Then, the folks in front of me split a turkey hoagie. I'm not sure if the hoagie looked good or the cute couple splitting the hoagie made it look good, but suddenly I was jealous and needed to have the hoagie. So... off I go and buy my $8.25 stupid hoagie and ate half (only half - but still).